Six Fictional Establishment Conservatives Revealed as Castrated Hollywood Cucks

Much like Mitt Romney, I hope to win favor with Daddy Trump and his storm troopers before next month's Inauguration so I decided to participate in the vital Cuckservative Purge. I spent weeks combing /r/The_Donald and the Breitbart comment sections in order to uncover those emasculated cucks who masquerade as conservative champions of film and television. Here's what I found: 

1. Thomas Whitmore - President, Independence Day


Mainstream Media Depiction: Hero leader and courageous pilot saves nation from invasion of illegal aliens. 

THE TRUTH: Globalist fighting other countries’ wars for them.  

2. Mayor McCheese – Spokesburger, McDonalds


MSM Depiction: Devoted, relatable public servant.

THE TRUTH:  Whiny, low-energy establishment shill sucking teet of massive corporation employing potential criminal aliens.

3. Alex P. Keaton – Republican dweeb, Family Ties 


MSM Depiction: Quirky and mature teenage economist. 

THE TRUTH: PC wimp who fantasizes about squirming into the Northeastern Ivy League elite; worships weenie-cuck forefather William F. Cuckley.

4. Ron Swanson – Director of the Pawnee City, Indiana Department of Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation


MSM Depiction: Bemused libertarian curmudgeon.

THE TRUTH: Poses as small-government champion while enabling the rise of brainwashed, leftist, bureaucracy-inflating crybabies.

5. James Marshall – US President, Air Force One


MSM Depiction: Military vet who single-handedly dismantles terrorist cell.  

THE TRUTH: Throughout entire film, never once has the balls to say “Radical Islamic Terrorism.”

6. Dave Kovic as President William Harrison Mitchell – US President, Dave 


MSM Depiction: Devised plan to provide jobs for every single American. 

THE TRUTH: No indication that these jobs involve construction of a border wall.